The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Randomize
