And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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