party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
