Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
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I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
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Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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