If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
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