By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
