can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
