so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
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