i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
