holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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