Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
