Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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