I look better un-naked...
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize
