So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
