scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
