girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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