am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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