Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize