I'm really into asian looking animals
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
