If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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