OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
