3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Pooping to opera.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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