dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
We got so high we made milksteak
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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