Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
