i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
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Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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