he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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