Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
