Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
