i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
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