I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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