Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
