normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
