people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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