Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
