You smell like a Billy Joel song
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
This is the prime rib incident all over again
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
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