she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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