There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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