he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
You are the jesus of drinking
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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