im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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