yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
