i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I just want nice things and good sex
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
