you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
