call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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