i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
