Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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