One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
