I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
