batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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