i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
