my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
