they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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