There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
