i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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