I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
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Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
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Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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