I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
