areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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