how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
