Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
