"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
