3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
