if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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