If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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